I'm A Single Mom

I’m a single mom, just trying to rebuild my life. It seems as if I do not have time for anything else but my son. I am lucky if he naps for a half hour. Even then I have to debate whether to work on my calc homework, clean out his bottles, finish his laundry, work out, or nap myself. I have a wonderful support system that allows me small amounts of time to do things I need or want to do but they have lives of their own.

I’m a single mom who once strived to become a doctor. That’s how I had gotten through high school, by telling myself that I will one day go to an exquisite college that makes people sigh in envy. I had the means to become a doctor but I’ve had convince myself that I no longer want to be a doctor. It’s just not in the cards that I hold.

I’m a single mom trying to date again. Some women cannot go for a month without attention from the opposite sex. I get it every day…well from this little man I call my world. I haven’t had contact with a grown male for over a year. It’s hard to jump back into the chaotic world of dating with someone else in tow. I cannot bounce from man to man, nor did I do this before, but this time around I know there will be far more failing relationships. There are now two people who can either be happy or hurt from relationships, my son and me, and I’ll have to tiptoe around these relations.

I’m a single mom who sometimes questions why I became a mother. On days, I feel like bashing my head into the wall as he shrieks in my arms. A goodnights sleep is five hours if the heavens decide to part the sky and let me. Or those wrenching crying fits inside Wal-Mart and everyone just beam their angry eyes at you. I know what they are thinking, a young mother who is not capable enough to handle her child.

I’m a single mom and I admit to doing some not so respectable things. I put my son in front of the TV. I don’t just let him vegetate in front of the plasma screen with Dora speaking Spanish all day. In the mornings usually as I get ready. That is my “me” time during the day so I put him in front of the TV with a colorful show for about thirty minutes. I saw on my newsfeed one young mother criticizing another young mother for letting her two month old watch “Little Einstein”. Good Lord, get over it, it can be stimulating. Sometimes you have to do what works because I cannot be chauffeuring around my little one on my hip everywhere I go. I cannot shower, do the dishes, use the restroom, etc with a fifteen pound baby in one arm, it’s just not realistic.

I'm a single mon who knows the entire theme song to "Ruby&Max", periodically spotting spit up on my shirts, and an expert at price matching diapers. His needs come before mine. I have to sacrifice a new pair of Toms to buy him a new pair of crib shoes. It's just the way it is yet I don't mind.

I'm a single mom and my love for my son will never falter or fade away, it will only grow with each day.